Back in Venice

Italy, Thoughts & Reflections Add comments

Walking in Venice brought back memories I’d almost forgotten. Standing in places so far from home where I had stood five years ago, often froze me in thought of passing time. On a bridge over the Grand Canal, I gazed at the empty façade of a hotel, where once before I had watched red, white and green flags wave, lost in daydreams of Italian history. Approaching a café I had flashbacks of sitting at an outdoor table, discussing plans of travel with a hostel friend. Coming down a set of stairs, I found myself in a spot where I had once sat up all night with an older Russian girl who was drunk on wine, listening to her tell endless tales of home. In these moments of reminisce, I found it shuttering that Venice had been here so long before me, welcomed me once, awaited my return and will be here still, long after I’m gone.


Looking back on the past doesn’t usually cause me to think about age and mortality, but when I return to a place I don’t often go, that many people never go, a place that because of this, is more so an instant of time in my life, a marking of age, I can’t help but be absorbed by how quickly I got from then to now. I can’t help but think of how my face has changed from the photo in my passport, how my values have changed and really about everything that has changed. I can’t help but think how sooner than can be imagined, this instant will be just as far away. That this me, which feels so real and sure, will soon be a younger face with younger ideas. Not someone that is or even was, but something that got me to where I am.

Though never belittling value in my experiences or causing regrets, somehow these sudden realizations of time past leave me bewildered. I find myself doubting the ardent desire to see and do as much as I can, while at the same time I fear not grasping every opportunity and following every dream.

It’s the theme of my travels, I suppose. An ongoing struggle that keeps me wandering.

One Thought on “Back in Venice”

  1. Pamela Says:

    John – I love the mystical quality of your writing about Venice. Well done.

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