Ladies, Boys & Lady-Boys

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Ok first let me say a lt has changed over the years and i’m totally comfortable with people’s sexuality, whatever it is. But until now, I had never met a “Thai Lady-Boy”. These people are transvestite homosexuals who are maliciously out to trick unsuspecting straight men into hooking up with them. Some of these lady-boys even get their shit cute off!

So the newest flaw I’ve learned about myself, is that I’m easily fooled by lady-boys! It began last night at a bar with Tristan, Ben and Eric. We were talking to the excess of waitresses and bartenders at the bar we were at,…When I saw what I thought was a (gulp) hot girl walk by. I said to Tristan…” Hey…Look left!” He did and he responded “That’s a bloody bloke! He’s got a @%*?!” And that’s where the jokes began. At that point I thought it was an honest mix up…Just because I wasn’t relay paying attention. Hmmm…I wish that was true. The place we were at was like a food court at a mall, but all the eaters were different bars. There were enough tables for maybe 20 at each place…And there were about as many girls working as customers. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not, but every place of employment in Thailand has way more employees than home. Every store and restaurant has workers just standing around doing nothing. I guess it’s a result of the cheap cost of labor. SO these bars were wierd enough that the girls basally grabbed us and dragged us there to drink with them. Yes, the bar staff sits with you and drinks too. But there was also a staged Muay Thai boxing ring in the middle and a bunch of kids and stray dogs walking around. When i say kids, i mean 5 year olds trying to sell roses and necklaces. It was freaking 10 o’clock at night and there were 5 year old Thai boys and girls poking me and trying to sell me things! Wierd. We left that bar and went to a club called Bubbles. I managed to fend off all but a few of the REAL ladies looking for an American to whisk them away. All i’ll say is that now i know how a girl must feel when she goes to a club in the US. I didn’t think it would bother me…but damn.
Ok..so we’re walking back to the hotel after we leave the club and we head through a small park. I spot two (gulp) hot girls hanging out near their motorcycles. I walk towards them and yell to my friends to come with me, but they just keep walking. I say “Hey give us a ride to our place!” My friends keep walking and yell “come on john, lets go”. Almost at once the girl looks at me and says “only one”. As soon as I realize the voice is too deep to be a girl, Tristan yells “Look left”. The wheels turn in my brain as (S)he reaches for my arm. Everything clicks and I turn and run…sprint…as fast as i can. Past my friends and straight through the chaing mai gates…out of the town, past the mote and towards our hotel. No lie. I think the reason i was so freaked out is that i was tricked. I’ve been hit on by gay guys before and it doesn’t bother me. I think it was the fact that i thought it was a girl. In any case…i’m over it and my eyes are a lot wider when we go out now.

We’re off to get some food with Tristan and Ben. Tomorrow they head to Australia and we head to Phuket.

One Thought on “Ladies, Boys & Lady-Boys”

  1. Gert Says:

    Ha ha how it doesn’t surprise me Johnny.

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